Sunday, February 28, 2010

A Quick Bite: Is Heinz Ketchup MURDER?



There are many things in this world I can't explain. Kudos to the vegan Scientologist who can explain this to me.

http://www.heinzketchup.com/
http://www.scientology.org/

More to come.

Friday, February 26, 2010

The MacSalad

Bart: Unckie Herb, what advice would you give to a young boy who would most likely become a bum like yourself?
Herb: Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese.

-The Simpsons episode [8F23] Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?

Everyone can agree eating fast food has its pitfalls. You really don't know what you're getting into when you chow down at your favorite on the go eatery. You don't know what is in that burger and usually eaten on the fly you don't always have at your disposal "fine dining". People eat food in many places. People eat it in their car, a movie theatre, their couch, a sidewalk, and classrooms just to name a few. I even remember hearing as child the local police department would bring the incarcerated criminals an Egg McMuffin and coffee in the morning or a Cheeseburger in the afternoon from McDonald's as their Meals. (Free McDonald's? I wanted to be locked-up!) Rarely do you have any utensils. Don't even think about flatware. At your disposal are usually an abundance of napkins (if they remember to put them in the bag) and the containers/wrappings/bags your food comes served in. When eating a messy or an involved meal this usually results in a recipe for disaster. Throw etiquette out the window when you are in the car as that Taco Bell will end up in your lap. There are environmental hazards.

In some cases the debris from your meal is just as prized as the meal itself. The leftovers are just as cherished and treated as "bonus" food. 'Urban Scavengers' as I'd like to refer to them are those brave few who take no shame in making a meal out of these morsels. "Lettuce" examine a few. Just when you thought you were through, there's more! You'll get desert once you've finished...

1. Bag Fries - The loose fries that have become dislodged from their container and fallen to the bottom of the food bag during transport. They are excellent for stealing. Those unfamiliar with the concept rarely check the bottom of the bag and throw them out. It breaks my heart to hear of all the forsaken bag fries throughout the world. Beware as small wars have been fought over who claims the discarded potatoes. The boys at Five Guys Burgers and Fries have embraced this concept. Here, when ordering fries with your burger, the server will scoop additional fries into the bag nearly filling it to the brim with oily love. They feed the world regardless of the size of the order and there's always enough to go around. Five Guys serves up peace on earth with every satisfied customer.

2. MacSalad - This is a term I have recently defined. It is the remnants of a Big Mac hamburger sandwich from McDonald's left-over after a meal. They may consist of one or more of the following: all-beef patties, special sauce, shredded lettuce, cheese, pickles, finely diced onions, sesame seed bun. Usually found in the box from which the Big Mac was served. I recommend asking for a fork when ordering a Big Mac these days. The special sauce being a thousand island variant is a fantastic dressing. No one should let it go to waste. Who cares if it is only shredded lettuce.

3. 'Sonic the Hedgehog' or 'The Lord of the Rings' - These are the names given to the recipient of the coveted misplaced onion ring often found among fries. This occurs when eating at a fast food restaurant which sells both, more specifically the aptly named Sonic or Burger King. It isn't so much a leftover "hazard" as it is an epic quest.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them!
-The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R Tolkein


4. Pizza Crusts (Pizza Bones) - I've been raised with the belief that it is a mortal sin to discard uneaten pizza crusts. This is mostly because where I come from (New Haven, CT) the crusts are often the best part of the Pizza. (I'll save the debate over superior pizza for another time.) What I will say is that just because the pizza crust is "a little burnt" doesn't mean that it tastes bad and should be thrown away. That's the way it is meant to be made 'round these parts. If you're not going to eat 'em pass 'em down!

5. Dumpster Diving - Am I serious? Yes. There are those who take urban scavenging to an extreme. 'Freeganism' is a relatively new movement based on an anti-consumerist lifestyle. One practice involves salvaging discarded, unspoiled food from supermarket dumpsters, known as 'dumpster diving'. 'Freegans' salvage the food for political reasons, rather than out of need, so you and your buds may want to read up on the social theory before 'Freegan' out.

No matter what your motivation is for scavenging, be aware. Pay close attention to the next meal you're having as you might find a treat amongst the used napkins. Be attentive to your leftovers for they could quickly become your buddy's meal. Do you want to change the world? Here's some food for thought: Try, offering up those bag fries, next time you're eating on the run. You're sure to gain a few friends.

Peace!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Shamrock Shake

Last night after a break from the Olympics and sampling Pennsylvanian beers John and I switched gears to The Simpsons. The episode 'Stop, Or My Dog Will Shoot' featured the following exchange:

Chief Wiggum: “I miss Shamrock Shakes, but they ain’t coming back ’til March.”
Lou: “You know, Chief, Shamrock Shakes are just vanilla shakes colored green.”
Chief Wiggum: “Well, I taste the flavor. It’s a very mild mint.”
Lou: “Well, maybe ’cause it’s a minty color, your mind is fooling your tongue.”
Chief Wiggum: “I know what I taste.”
Eddie: “I gotta go with Chief on this one.”
Lou (sarcastically): “Whoa, there’s a big surprise.”

This resulted in a restless night for me. As usual, there were dreams of new and exciting McDonald's value menu items. There was the McMedallion (a large warm chocolate chip cookie), a series of Hostess snacks, a Sloppy Joe sandwich, and a vegetarian hummus snack wrap. To wash it all down I ordered a medium Shamrock Shake. The next morning the first thing I did was instant message John asking if he would join me on a quest: "The Quest for the Shamrock Shake". Here's how it would have gone down in Arthurian legend:

GOD: This is your quest Jason. The quest for the Shamrock Shake.
JASON: Seriously??? Man, you're setting the bar pretty low for me huh.
GOD: Oh, and could you pick up some MILK while you're out...
JASON: Anything else?
GOD: An ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY ... (there's a cool article on LOST).
JASON: I'm sure.
GOD: ... and DON'T FORGET TO GET YOUR OIL CHANGED!!...
JASON: ...son of a bitch.


To my surprise John had NEVER had a shamrock shake so it was quite the easy sell. The Shamrock Shake served by McDonald's first debuted in 1970 and paved the way for other seasonal marked franchise drinks such as the Starbucks' 'Gingerbread Latte'. Usually appearing mid-late February it is available in select restaurants. As Chief Wiggum describes, "It is a very mild mint" with a green hue. The calorie content can of course vary by size. There is the 440 calorie 12 oz cup up to a whopping 1160 calorie 32 oz. It'll use up all of your weight watcher points in one sip but, hey it only comes 'round once a year right? John quickly found a couple of old, stereotypical, and racist McDonald's commercials on YouTube. "Awww... Even the Asian kid want to kiss the Irish kid after drinking a Shamrock Shake!"



I arrived just before John at the McDonald's down the street from him. I eagerly asked the manager behind the counter if they had Shamrock Shakes. Sadly they didn't. However I wasn't the first to inquire that day about them. I wasn't alone in the universe. Maybe that previous person had watched the Simpson's last night as well. This was going to take some work. I had noticed earlier on shamrockshake.com "Find the Shake", that shakes were sighted all over CT including: North Haven, Milford, and Old Saybrook. They were out there, we just needed to find 'em.

McDonald's has made some great choices as a restaurant franchise. One of which is an iPhone adapted store locator web-page. A few quick gestures on my phone, and I had the phone numbers of all the nearest McDonald's within a 20 mile radius. It is no wonder why they've been top dog in fast food for so long. The first location I tried (my favorite restaurant) returned a number no longer in service message. Google Maps explained that the store had closed. We were going to have to check that out later. The second number, (the highway rest-stop) confirmed that they in-fact had Shamrock Shakes. I don't prefer going to the highway McDonald's. The menus are often reduced, priced much higher (on average 50 cents per item), and for some reason the food quality tends to lack. Perhaps it is because they are more focused on quantity. However, since it was in the direction John and I were eventually both going and we didn't feel like driving all over the state, we agreed that it would do.

We walked in through the doors and right up to the counter (it was after the lunch rush). To our relief there (next to the sundae, apple-pie, and chocolate chip cookies) was a promotional poster for the Shamrock Shake. Success.

McDonald's advertises all their shakes as being "Triple Thick" and "thick" is the first impression you get from the beverage (a term used loosely). It takes some work to drink it and it actually caused the straw to fold in the process. However, in my opinion, it does live up to some of the hype. It is a mild mint, that is less overpowering than a typical spearmint gum. The drink was very creamy, cold and real treat.

John educated me on what other critics have noticed. This is a "new" recipe and many loyalists are disappointed in a lack of quality in this years batch vs. history. There had been groans about McDonald's current milkshake machines, which use syrups mixed with their milkshake base, resulting in inconsistent-poor quality. He had seen pictures of poorly mixed shakes where almost a quarter of the shake at the bottom consisted of the "vanilla" base. I noticed that in some stores it is even being marketed with whipped cream and a cherry (possibly to cover-up the "swirl effect"). To check this John and I opened up our shake cups and found the very green syrup clinging to the walls. Of course we had to try the shake now in its most basic form (it was super sweet).

While those anticipating the ol' Shamrock Shake of yore may be disappointed, I still would venture to McDonald's this St. Patty's day if you're looking for something special. It is closer than a pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow and you don't have to deal with those pesky leprechauns.

Sláinte!



UPDATE: Want to try a new holiday treat? May I suggest adding some Bailey's to you Shamrock Shake? Delicious! Please be aware of public drinking laws if you plan to take you shake on the road.